Last night was not a good night for me.
I had nightmare after nightmare, making me afraid to go back to sleep. I don’t know why I had that many dreams last night. In fact, two of them were recurring dreams that I hadn’t experienced in years. One of them in particular was one of the worst I’ve ever had, and it prompted me to do more research on my thanatophobia.
Here’s what I suffer from (meaning when I talk about my panic attacks, this is what causes it):
Existential death anxiety is the basic knowledge and awareness that natural life must end. It is said that existential death anxiety directly correlates to language; that is, language has created the basis for this type of death anxiety through communicative and behavioral changes. Existential death anxiety is known to be the most powerful form. There is an awareness of the distinction between self and others, a full sense of personal identity, and the ability to anticipate the future. Humans defend against this type of death anxiety through denial, which is effected through a wide range of mental mechanisms and physical actions many of which also go unrecognized. While limited use of denial tends to be adaptive, its use is usually excessive and proves to be costly emotionally.
It’s comforting to know that there is actually a name for my particular kind of thanatophobia, and research to back it up. Makes me feel less like a freak. =/
I decided to just start all over again from Mass Effect 1, and… yo, what’s a bitch gotta do to get high Paragon status in that shit? Do I just continue doing the main missions for a bit and then go back to do the side missions??
P.S. If someone blocks/ignores you, and you still continue to reblog from them, that’s harassment. Just FYI.