At long last, my review and story about the KMFDM concert that took place on October 29th in Orlando, FL. Let me just say that as far as intimate club live shows go, KMFDM are currently #2 in my book (VNV Nation still kicked their ass in the performance and after-show department).

Let me divide my review/story into two parts: My story and Audi’s story. It seems that we both had very interesting and different accounts of this particular evening.

My Story
So my side of the story begins at home, fighting the ever growing pain from wearing Audi’s boots (since I had to throw all of mine away). At first, if I just kept my feet in certain angles, it wouldn’t hurt so bad. But as the night went on, it got worse and worse.

After arriving in Orlando (a lovely 2.5 hour drive I might add), we had the unfortunate mission of looking for parking. We got to the club when there was only two people in line. By the time we found parking (6 BLOCKS AWAY BTW), the line went around the corner. Blah! Whatever. We got in line and waited until about 9:20 when they finally opened the doors. Some dude with a flashlight came down the line checking ID’s and he told me I had to get rid of my spike collar. My aggravation rises further. It’s bad enough that my feet are screaming in pain, but now I have to find somewhere to hide my damn necklace. Audi suggested throwing it in the bushes and getting it later, but that was not an option. I made this necklace nearly 10 years ago when I was too poor to buy the real thing. It has memories attached, dammit! Thankfully, the people in line behind us were kind enough to put it in their car so we could pick it up again after the show.

Finally, we get in, and walk over to the bar. Audi gets a beer, and I went over to the vendor booth. I bought myself a pack of 5 buttons, which was a VERY reasonable $5. You can’t even get that price at fucking Hot Topic; well if you’re lucky enough to find a KMFDM button at all in there! Audi walks over with me to look around, and I go wait right in front of the stage. Audi bids his farewell (since he doesn’t care much about either band) and I didn’t seem him again until KMFDM left the stage.

After waiting for about a fucking hour, Angelspit finally comes on stage. I will mention the few things I liked first. I liked the way Destroyx, the lead singer, danced and moved. She was really fluid and sexy, and really gave a nice performance to each song. I also liked… well, honestly, that’s the only thing I liked. Everything else pretty much sucked hardcore. Let’s list them off, shall we?

- 50% of their synthesizers were fake. How do I know this? Audi has been living and breathing synths for nearly half his life, and he told me they were fake. The bulk of them were just fancy looking face plates that provided a half-decent light show.
- She doesn’t actually sing. It’s just “talking with style”. I hate that. A lot. I hate that she’s not even mildly talented and she’s making more money than me. Jealousy? Yes, bitch.
- The other member of the band, Z00G (which is a terrible fucking name to begin with) had the most ridiculous looking “fake mohawk” I’ve ever seen. It was composed of triangular leather cutouts with rivets in it. Puke-fest. Grow a real goddamn mohawk, and then I’ll be impressed.
- They performed EVERY SONG to backtracks. Now, I have no problem with backtracks, since sometimes they’re simply necessary. But when your entire live show is composed of singing over the shit you already made in the studio…. there’s a big problem.
- The only thing that irritated me more than the band was the fans. One asshole in particular kept yelling stupid shit like “Take off your top” and “Show us your tits”. Hey, douchebag, it’s a concert, not a strip joint.

Now, on to the stars of the night, KMFDM. Pure and simple, they kicked ass. What was even more amazing is that I knew every single song they played. The only song I wished they hadn’t was “Looking for Strange”. I don’t know why but I can’t stand that song, and it’s very rare for me. Normally, I can listen to every single KMFDM album straight through. But there’s really not much else to say. They were just simply amazing. The only bad thing about the show was some bitch who kicked me in the head while she was body surfing.

Here’s the songs they played. I don’t remember the precise order. Sorry.

- DIY
- Bait & Switch
- Megalomaniac
- Adios
- Looking for Strange
- Light
- Tohuvabohu
- Hau Ruck
- Son of a Gun
- Godlike
- Saft Und Kraft
- WWIII

That’s the end of my story, for now. Let’s move on to what happened to Audi, and then the two stories will merge when we reach the end of it.

Audi’s Story
As soon as he left me, he went back to the bar near the main entrance. However, after about 10 minutes, he started feeling silly just standing there, so he ordered a Long Island Iced Tea. He then went to the other bar on the far end of the club (on the other side of the stage) and went all the way to the back so no one would be behind him. He had already put in his earplugs, so he was set. As soon as Angelspit came on, he thought they were so terrible that he immediately began writing about how bad they were on his Blackberry.  Just before they performed their last song of the night, he headed outside,  sat right next to the vendor table, and started fiddling on his Blackberry. After the last song, people started coming out to the vendor area since Angelspit was going to come out and sign autographs. Audi ended up becoming the photographer for all the people wanting photos with one or both of the Angel spit band members. Finally, after all that was done, he sat back down and started doing stuff on his Blackberry again.

Finally, the roadie behind the vendor table asks him, “Hey, man, everything OK?” Audi then began explaining about the problems with his hearing, how I was inside enjoying the show, etc etc… He and the roadie ended up getting along really well, and they started talking about a bunch of different shit. Eventually, after having so many alcoholic drinks, the roadie had to use the restroom. So, he asked Audi if he could watch over the booth for him while he went to the john. Audi did so and sat behind the table while the guy was gone. As soon as the roadie came back, he thanked Audi and told him that he wanted to pay him back for helping him out. He asked Audi, “What shirt size is your girl?” He ended up giving him a KMFDM shirt for me!! (insert a ‘holy shit’ right here) A few seconds later, someone came up to buy a shirt, and it cost $40. LOL.

A few minutes later, the lead singer from Angelspit came back out, and she was dressed in plain clothes. She walked over to the roadie and started chit chatting. Audi took this opportunity to talk to her. See, he had recognized her when she first came on stage from a promotion video for Doepfer DarkStar Energy synthesizer. So he went up to her and asked her about it. She confirmed it and they both started talking about synthesizers. It turns out she actually knows quite a bit about synths. She told Audi that they have some amazing analog synths that are worth about $4000-$5000 EACH.

Finally, KMFDM finished performing and the crowd started  coming back out. Audi bid his goodbyes to both Destroyx and the roadie, and went looking for me. This is where our stories converge… After finding me, we looked for the people who were holding onto my necklace. We found them outside, I got my necklace, and after thanking them profusely, we headed to the car.

After a long and grueling drive back home, I finally saw my feet for the first time since before putting them on… I had second degree burns on both tendons from having the boot scrape against my skin. The skin has already scabbed over, but it still hurts to walk.

So that’s my story. I’ve uploaded the best pictures from the show, a pic of my outfit, and the stuff I got from the show to this Facebook album.

Audi, Entertainment, Fun, Life angelspit, Audi, concert, firestone live, kmfdm