As if things couldn’t be more fucking hectic and frantic and crazy and every other synonym I could think of, now I need to spend another $700 on my car to fix it. I understand what needs to be fixed and they are things that desperately need to be fixed. But shit, why now when our lease is almost up and the hubby still hasn’t decided what the hell he wants to do; renew the lease or put our things in storage and have us move in with relatives until we move out of Florida? What the hell, man… Now, when I finally have a job that seems stable and is paying me good money, he wants to leave. What. The. HELL. I’m so close to telling him, “I’m renewing the lease, you’re welcome to stay here with me if you like…” It’s not fair to me that now I’m bringing in the bulk of our income and he wants to hightail it out of Florida. One more year wouldn’t kill him, and it would give us time to save up money and move out next year! And not just move out to some shithole, but get us an actual house for cheap (because really, anywhere is cheaper than Florida LOL).

On a lighter note, I went out Saturday night to Ft. Lauderdale to see my ex-boyfriend Eddy’s band Dissever play at the Monterey Club. I was originally going to go with my next door neighbor, but she bailed on me. And of course, Audi the homebody didn’t want to go out anywhere. So, I ended up going by myself. And I am quite glad I did. I got to meet up with Eddy (whom I hadn’t seen in years) and it felt great to re-connect with him, since I’ve known him for almost 10 years. I even bought a Dissever t-shirt and was offered a micro-brewed beer by Dissever’s manager. Sweet.

Right now, I’m on my lunch break, taking the time to write in my blog since it seems I never have time to do so anymore… except when I have something to bitch about. Oh, snap. I guess this is one of those times, eh?

Oh, but I do have some more good news. I don’t believe I’ve mentioned this in my blog, but one of my artworks was chosen to be printed in Ballistic Publishing‘s upcoming book Exposé. This is a very big deal; this book is one of the biggest digital art books in the world, and is seen by big name artists, companies, producers, etc etc. Here’s to hoping this publication will get me some much needed attention.

Anyway, back to work now. Still have a lot of stuff to finish today. Yay. Ciao!

Audi, Fun, Job, Life, Rants ballistic publishing, car, concert, dissever, live show, repairs, work

This is something I need to get out, simply because, if I don’t, I just might get a brain hemorrhage and pass out.

Digital art is like any other skill: it takes a lot of time, a lot of practice, and a lot of dedication. It’s not something that anyone can just pick up after five minutes of tinkering with Photoshop or Illustrator. There are two and four year schools dedicated to the study of Digital Art, both as a technical skill and as a historical exploration. There are galleries and museums that document the growth of Electronic Media, Video Art, Digital Art, 3D animation, and much more. Any TV show, film, video game, commercial, or cartoon you see has a massive team of people, each with a dedicated task, that helped make that piece of footage possible.

So when someone implies to me that Photomanipulation is not that hard, or fix this little thing here, or whip something up, it makes me want to punch myself in the face just so I can go unconscious for a few hours.

I have dedicated 10 years of my life to Digital Art, both the study and practice of it.In fact, my current reading is New Media Art by Reena Jana and Mark Tribe [link] and next, I plan on reading “Art of the Digital Age” by Bruce Wands [link] . During the 8 years (yes, 8 years) that I attended college solely to learn more about Digital Art, I spent every free moment I had outside of college learning about Digital Art. I didn’t stop. I pushed myself all the time, taught myself what my teachers didn’t or couldn’t, and still today, I know I have room for improvement.

It’s difficult to stop people from assuming that because I’m using a mouse and a keyboard, or that I have “undos” and a History feature, that somehow my artwork is less worthy of being considered art. No matter where I go, I run across someone who thinks that because I know Photoshop well, that I can just wave a magic wand and do something in 2 seconds flat. It doesn’t work that way. Even Digital Art requires an idea, a method, trials and tests, and eventually, a solution.

For a long time, I used Photoshop 5.5. If it were up to me, I’d use that for the rest of my life. But ever since my hard drive failed and I started using the company laptop at home, I’ve been using CS4. Apart from a few features that I nodded my head and said, “Neat”, I didn’t do anything any differently than when I had 5.5. Why? Because I pushed myself to learn new and different ways of doing things. If I didn’t have a feature that could do what I wanted, I came up with a new way. I’d try again and again and again until finally I got the result I wanted. This wasn’t a simple process that took me a few hours. I’d sometimes spend a week, almost nonstop, working out how to achieve the look or effect I wanted.

Why did I explain all that? To reiterate my first point: Digital art is like any other skill: it takes a lot of time, a lot of practice, and a lot of dedication.

I wrote a Tweet recently where I stated, “I want a one woman show during Art Basel. I want to make digital art museum-worthy. I want it all. And I’m gonna make it fucking happen.”

I especially meant that second line. I want to make Digital Art museum-worthy. And yes, I’m gonna make it fucking happen.

Thank you.
*steps off soapbox*

Art, Life, Rants Art, digital art, photomanipulation

The story of my life right now. Too damn busy, and too damn tired. Sometimes I feel like I’m gonna pass out into a frickin’ coma.

However, last night, I finally had an opportunity to go out and have a good time. I went with my neighbor to go see Afrika Bambaataa and Black Sun Empire perform at Revolution Live in Ft. Lauderdale. It was fucking amazing. The vibe and the atmosphere in the club was just so incredible: people joining together just to enjoy the music and have a good time. I hadn’t danced that much in months, but man, did it feel good to cut loose, AND to some killer drum and bass. Yessssssss.

The hubby has been out of town for the past few days. He went down to Miami to visit his mom for her birthday, and he’ll be coming back home tomorrow in the afternoon. It’s been nice having the apartment to myself, but I do miss him regardless.

I’ve been trying to finish some commissions that I got hired to do a while ago. They weren’t too major, but they do need to be finished. I just can’t seem to concentrate on things. I get home and my brain just doesn’t want to focus on much. It sucks.

Anyway, I guess that’s all I really have to say. Ciao.

Life

So yea, life has been pretty cut and dry lately. Go to my job, come home, do more stuff for the job, and work on art. That’s it. I’ve been obsessing over a new painting that has dominated the majority of my free time. LOL.

Fortunately, I DID take time of out my routine to spend some time with my family this past weekend. My parents, brother, and his son came up from Miami to visit my cousin, so I headed over there, too. We celebrated Mommy’s Day late, but it’s the thought that counts anyway. Shouldn’t matter what day it falls on, you know? We had plenty of good food, and the day was surprisingly drama free! I spent most of the time with my parents, aunt, and grandma just chit-chatting. My godkids and nephew were all playing together on the Wii, and my brother and cousin were hanging out on the second floor. Everybody just stayed in their own little space, and because of that, no arguments broke out. A MIRACLE, I tell you! Haha.

Today, I went over to my cousin’s again, since she had invited me to join them all at the pool. Soooo, I went out after leaving their house yesterday to buy a new swimsuit. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a true matching pair, so I bought a top from one set and a bottom from another. Yes, yes… I actually bought a two piece and may I just say I look DAMN FINE in it?? ;D The hubby commented on how good I look in a two-piece bathing suit. Teeheehee.

The pool was fun for the most part. There was almost nobody there. Two women came along who apparently couldn’t bear to see the little girl they brought along playing with my godkids (stuck up bitches), and ended up taking her away after only being there 20 minutes. Later on, some guy  and a kid (I’m assuming it was his son) sh0wed up. The kid was nice enough at first, but apparently was bothered by the fact that my godkids wanted to play with him. Seems he said something to Sabian and Sabian left the pool looking rather glum. We decided to leave soon after that, since it seemed we had overstayed our welcome. LOL. Fucking people piss me off. It’s bad enough that Sabian is a sensitive soul. We went back to the house, ate some lunch, and watched “Aliens in the Attic”. It was actually REALLY entertaining. I thought it was going to be just another dumb kid’s movie that I, as an adult, wouldn’t enjoy. But I was pleasantly surprised.

Anyway,  I want to get back to that painting. Ciao! <3

Art, Family, Friends, Fun, Life Art, Family, godkids, mother's day, painting, pool

The roller coaster of emotions has been climbing steadily upwards; here’s to hoping it plateaus for a little while and stays elevated, eh? Hehe. For the past week, things have just been calm, quiet, and enjoyable. There’s been no drama between me and the hubby, very little drama at work, and I even managed to finish what I consider my best digital painting yet. Just click on the preview image below and it will open in a new tab/window:

There’s really not much else to update on, except maybe that the hubby bought some more gear on eBay yesterday. Here’s to hoping it arrives safe, sound, and in complete working condition. =]

I’m off to watch some Inuyasha, and then get some sleep. Ciao!

Art, Audi, Fun, Life Art, Audi, gear, painting

Yep, that’s the name of the game right now. Seems every little thing in life is out to frustrate, annoy, and torment the living shit out of me. Why? I don’t know. Maybe I was an evil witch in a past life, or some nasty karma is rearing it’s ugly head in my direction. Whatever the reason, I wish it would bloody well STOP already.

I’m tired, too. I’ve been feeling really run down and defeated lately. I don’t feel like eating sometimes, either. I’d just rather stay in bed and not do anything, or say anything… it doesn’t help that Audi has been so busy with his hard drives and computer situation to come and give me some much needed attention. *sigh* What a dumb yutz he is sometimes.

I’m going to my goddaughter’s soccer practice today, again. Hopefully seeing her smiling and happy to see me will lift my spirits a bit.

Gotta get back to work. Ciao (for now).

Audi, Family, Fun, Job, Life, Love Audi, frustration, sabrina, soccer, work

So, here’s the scoop on what has happened so far this weekend.

The good news is, I’m healthy as a horse. The fibrous masses have not changed since two years ago, except there’s one new tiny one in the left boob. The doctor said that there’s a good chance it will remain benign, but that I should still check it out in 6 months to make sure.

To celebrate, my mom and I went shopping! It had been a long time since she and I did girly shopping together, and it was a lot of fun. I bought myself a pair of jeans, some frilly underwear (which I’m sure my hubby will enjoy, hehe), and a white tank top w/built in bra. I needed one because I have a really cute shirt that’s just a bit too sheer. Now, i can wear it without having to worry about anything extra showing. LOL. My mom also bought me a jacket that was just gorgeous. Thankfully, it was very cheap, too: only 10 bucks.

After we got back to my mother’s house, turns out my nephew had come over to spend some time with his dad. My brother was at my parent’s house, obviously. The night was pretty normal after that. We had pizza for dinner, cartoons were watched, I did my weekly features on deviantart.com, etc etc…

As for today, my mom and I dropped off my brother and his son at the train station so they could head on up to West Palm Beach and spend time with my cousin and her kids. Afterwards, we went to some stores trying to find a nice and cheap pair of sneakers for me. Now, this is a want, not a need, so I refuse to pay too much for something I just want to have. I’m trying to find a simple pair of black sneakers with no big logos or designs on them that still look young and fashionable for around 10-15 bucks. Apparently, this is much too high of a demand, because all the nice and simple black sneakers are either 30 bucks or look like orthopedic therapy shoes. UGH. I ended just buying a really cute black blouse and a black tanktop to wear underneath it: together, they cost me less than 10 bucks. LOL. I’m such a frickin’ penny pincher. hahaha.

Right now, I’m waiting for my friend Chris to come pick me up so we can go bowling. I’m planning on taking my D-SLR since I’m sure I’ll get some awesome shots. Hehe.

Well, I’m off to get a snack and watch some more Casino Royale on tv. CIAO!

Family, Friends, Fun, Life bowling, chris, Friends, healthy, shirt, sneakers

Yes, today was one of those days. You know, the kind of day that is just endless excitement, chaos, and hilarity from morning to night? Yea, the kind of day where you’ve facepalmed yourself so much you might just end up unconscious.

Read more…

Art, Entertainment, Family, Friends, Fun, Job, Life, Rants birds, doctor, miami, parents, stomachache, trip, vomiting, weekend, work